A: Are you alright love?
B: No, I’m half left.
A: Don’t joke love.
B: Who’s joking?
A: It was big.
B: Where is it then?
A: Slipped through me fingers.
B: [Gives the do-you-think-I-was-born-yesterday look]
A: Seriously.
B: Every time you go fishing they do that. Every time. Why?
A: I brought you this goldfish instead love.
B: What am I supposed to do with that?
A: It’s got a bit of meat on.
B: We’re not eating it!
A: Why not?
B: Makes a better pet than Friday dinner.
A: What are we eating then?
B: Go down the chippy. Spend the money!
A: [Walks away counting and recounting change scrapped from every pocket].
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